How to Be Confident & Overcome Insecurity | Confidence and insecurity are one of the few universal struggles. Across culture, demographic, and society, the battle for a strong sense of self worth is one all too many of us have had to fight for.
Learning to be confident is a journey, and insecurity is hard to shut down. But in my own life, I’ve learned some practical strategies, tools, and habits that can be built into your life to help you out. I wish I’d read something like this in high school, because these have really changed my life and the way I see both myself and others.
It’s hard to get perspective on your own situation, but know that no matter where you’re at, you are so deeply loved, valued, and have more to offer the world than you could ever know.
How to Be Confident
Name your insecurities
The things that keep you up at night, haunt you, and tell you that you’re not good enough? Name them. What are they? What is it exactly that makes you feel less than?
It sounds silly, but being able to label your insecurities can be a really powerful thing. Speaking them out loud, writing them down, or telling a friend is a way to take back your own narrative. More often than not, the things that we feel the most insecure about so small. But when they’re kept in the dark, they can take over easily, because there’s no truth being spoken into that space.
Don’t compare yourself
I know, I know — easier said than done. But contentment cannot coexist with comparison. Holding up your life to anyone else’s never leads to anything good. I could give you the speech about how we all have different paths and journeys, but I’m sure you’ve heard it, so I’m gonna hit you with a little tough love instead.
Stop Facebooking stalking your ex’s new girlfriend, delete social media for a while, and get off the scale.
You are you on purpose. You weren’t made to be anyone else, or to live any other life. Things have a way of working out on their own, and there’s little you can do to control that. For every timeline, plan, and expectation in life, there is a plot twist, bombshell, or curveball. With that in mind, drop the mirror. Step into the role of the main character – of your own life – and make your story one you love.
Celebrate the little things
Life is short, and as we’ve now established, unpredictable. That said, make finding reasons to celebrate a habit this year. Don’t wait for all your dreams to come true to start having fun. Surprise your friends, be proud of yourself, host events just because.
Keep a journal of your accomplishments. Even if no one else is celebrating you, be proud of yourself. Write a list of the things you’ve done, the ones you worked for and dreamed of and now are seeing come to fruition. Learning to be confident means embracing who you are, and loving that person, even in the moments you don’t like everything about them.
Confidence isn’t cocky. It’s an inner peace and safety in knowing that your value doesn’t fluctuate as you go through life.
Let other people speak into your life
In all honesty, it’s easier to drown in insecurity than it is to believe people who tell you the truth about yourself. But if you’re ready to start living, you need to let other people speak into your life.
Take this carefully — this definitely doesn’t mean that you should believe anything anyone tells you. Sometimes people suck. But if you’re struggling with insecurity, reach out to some trusted friends or family members. If you’re up for it, look for someone who could actually mentor you a bit, someone who will tell you the truth and love you through all the hard stuff.
If someone pays you a compliment, try just saying “thank you”. Don’t fight them. Don’t automatically reject it, even silently. Just accept it, and keep going.
Set goals
A lot of the time, insecurity is born from this feeling of not being where you want to be. In life, in your career, in a relationship. And that feeling isn’t inherently bad, the problem begins when it starts to affect how you see your value.
Your worth as a human being has absolutely nothing to do with what you’ve accomplished.
It has nothing to do with your failures.
It’s okay, healthy, and encouraged to actually set goals for where you want to be — but you need to separate them from your worth. When you get there, you’ll be every bit as loved as you were when you started.
If you’re new to goal setting, check out this post on how to set successful & healthy goals.
Define success your own way
This goes hand in hand with halting comparison — but being confident means knowing you can be awesome no matter what you do. It’s the courage to create your own path, not feeling like you need to mimic anyone else’s.
Take some time to think about what success really looks like in your eyes. What do you want people to say about you? What is most important to you in life?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
If you’re really struggling, ask for help. Tell someone what’s going on, and reach out to a place you trust. Insecurity can suck you in, and needing a hand to pull you out is not a shameful thing.
If you don’t have a strong community, or even if you do, consider going to talk to a counsellor or therapist. It’s an amazing resource, an unbiased individual who’s trained to help you. Unlike your friends and family, they can be objective, and are a lot more likely to say the right thing.
Choose to be confident this year. Bold, courageous, and strong. The world is big and wide and filled with adventures that are going to shape you, make you, and create a masterpiece.
For more on how to intentionally create a life of purpose, follow along on Pinterest or sign up for the biweekly emails with any blog posts you’ve missed, a note from my heart to yours, and words that are changing my life.
Comments Off on How to Develop Lasting Confidence & Overcome Insecurity