How to Get Over a Breakup | If you’re reading this, I’m sorry. Getting over a breakup is no easy task. The end of a relationship knocks the wind out of you, and it can be really hard to know how to get yourself back up again.
I’ve always found that the hardest part of moving on is the insertion of terrible advice, unwanted opinions, and commentary from anyone and everyone. I’ve gotten a lot of truly terrible relationship advice (wrote this post allll about it) from well-intentioned people who were just too close to the situation to see, let alone share the hard truths.
So I’m here. Because I’m about as removed as you get — I don’t even know your story or situation. But what I do know is that I’ve been where you are, and have learned infallible truths about how to heal from heartbreak.
I hope this encourages you, reminds you of the good stuff, and leaves you hopeful more than anything else.
How to Get Over a Breakup
Find people you trust
Your friends love you, but to be honest, just because someone cares about you doesn’t mean they have good advice. Everyone has something to say, but not everyone has wisdom to share. Reach out to family members, older friends, or people you trust who are a little more removed from the situation.
Verbal processing is a huge part of healing. Being able to talk through your breakup with people who you can trust to tell you the truth will be a huge step in healing.
Get out of the house
Do not, I repeat, do NOT sit at home every night and make yourself miserable. Breakups are exhausting. You need to give mind and heart a break, think about something else, and remember what it’s like to have fun as a single person. You don’t have to do anything crazy. Host a girls’ night. Go see a movie.
Just go live life. The pain won’t be gone the next day, but that feeling of not-knowing-how-to-breathe will start to lift. A few moments of peace can do your soul so much good.
Grieve the relationship
This is the hardest, longest part of the process. Unappealing though it sounds, you have to feel this. In order to really heal and get over a breakup, you need to mourn. The loss of the good stuff will hurt for a while. It might be shorter than you think, or it might always sting a little.
The good news is, though, that it’s not permanent.
Try new things
TRY NEW THINGS. Redecorate your room. Take up writing, painting, or get creative with your makeup. Write songs, poetry, or start running. Find new hobbies and invest time into them. Not only are creative things really beneficial for your mental health, but starting over, even in little ways, feels like coming up for air.
Find a part of your life that your ex didn’t touch, or create one. Remember what it’s like to be you on your own.
Meet new people
I am not advocating for a rebound — repeat — rebounds are NOT a healthy way to move on from a relationship. That said, meeting new people is a good opportunity to remind yourself that there are still great people out there. It’s nice too, being in spaces where no one is asking you about your breakup, because they only know you on your own.
Journal what you’re going through
Write sh** down. This probably comes as no shock, but I’m a words of affirmation gal through and through, and I can confidently tell you that without writing, talking, or getting thoughts out of my head onto paper, I’d never have dealt with a lot of hard things.
Putting things down into a physical copy somehow makes them seem real. It’ll help you come to terms with where you’re at, remind you how big the world is — and it’s really powerful to look back on and see how far you’ve come.
Also: Try creating a gratitude journal. This is a great way to keep yourself grounded as you grieve, staying stable and not getting lost in it.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I’m sending you all the hugs I can. If you ever need to vent to a stranger, feel free to slide into the DMS. I promise that life is big, beautiful, and jam packed with new beginnings, no matter how it feels right now.
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