How to Build Trust in a Relationship | Trust is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship. Being able to trust your partner to tell you the truth, have your back, and stay loyal in all areas is quite literally make or break. But it’s not always easy to build.
Whether you’ve had trust broken in your relationship, been burned by others, or simply witnessed failures before by other people you trusted, putting your faith in someone is incredibly hard. Years ago, I heard love described as “giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to”, and while it’s certainly more than that — it’s not incorrect.
When you love someone in committed relationship, you are asking and expecting them to meet a certain level of standards. And if they don’t, it can be absolutely crushing. So how do you actually build a foundation of trust, both ways, to know if/that you can rely on someone fully?
How to Build Trust in a Relationship
Communicate your expectations
If you only take one thing away from this post, make it this one. No matter how well your significant other knows you, or how long you’ve been together, they cannot read your mind. If something is important to you, you need to tell them. It’s easy to feel let down or disappointed by someone if they never knew you were waiting on them in the first place.
Lack of communication is the #1 issue in relationships. When your significant other fails to meet your expectations, it feels like a breach of trust. Which is why it is so, so very important to set clear ones. It will save you SO MUCH heartbreak, and working together to provide what you both need is a great exercise in building trust in a relationship.
Only make promises you can keep
If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. I can’t stress this enough. Sometimes there is this pressure in the dating world to always say the right thing, do the grand gesture, and nail the romantic lines. And don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a grand gesture — but when you do something before you feel it, or say it before you mean it, you are only causing pain to the person you’re with.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, or mislead someone about your intentions or plans for the future. Commit when you’re ready, and don’t force something that’s not there yet.
Be open with your thoughts
A great way to build trust in a relationship is to just be open about what you’re thinking. With the big things, with the little things, and any and all bits in-between. Feeling stressed about work? Don’t say it’s nothing. Are you frustrated, insecure, even about something entirely unrelated?
Every time you are vulnerable, open, and honest with your partner, you are building trust in your relationship. The more real you are, the more they can rely on you. Generally speaking — I’d recommend airing on the side of overcommunication, especially when you’re struggling. Let your significant other be there for you.
Show up for each other
On that note, show up for each other. An essential component of trust is feeling confident that your significant other will show up for you when you need them. Can you trust your partner to do that, and have you shown them that you can do the same?
Be present in their pain, consistent in their life, and always someone they can depend on. It’s not 100% effective, but as a general rule, if you’re someone that can be trusted, you can probably trust others to be the same for you.
Be consistent
Stay the path. Ultimately, trust is developed over time — built on a pattern of honesty and faithfulness, it can’t reappear overnight once it’s been broken. Try not to feel discouraged, and continue focusing on what you’re building. Remember what you’re fighting for and why you’re fighting for it.
Don’t ask for perfection, and be willing to give each other grace. This doesn’t mean that you should justify or allow each other to get hurt, just that humans are human and patterns take a while to break. Hold on to each other.
Relationships take work, but man oh man is it all worth it when you do it right. If building an intentional relationship is important to you, you’re in the right place. We post all things intentional living – relationships, mindset, and lifestyle, and we’re committed to helping you build a life you love. Click here for more content on how to grow your relationship, or sign up for biweekly emails and never miss a post!
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