5 Life Changing Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

5 Life Changing Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships | When it comes to relationships, communication is everything. Dealing with conflict, making big decisions, and even everyday conversation requires healthy and effective communication skills. Maybe it’s just me, but being able to clearly and lovingly have those crucial discussions seems to be the mark of a successful couple.

Now, that doesn’t mean it always comes naturally, even when it’s right. Anyone in a long term relationship knows that conflict is inevitable. You’re going to disagree sometimes. With poor communication, this easily leads to fighting, misunderstandings, and in a worst case scenario, breakups.

If you’re struggling with communication, don’t panic! I’m here to help — that doesn’t have to be your future. The most important thing you commit to a relationship is your willingness to grow together. If you want to make your relationship last, have good communication with your significant other, and learn to resolve fights, these 5 steps will be absolute LIFESAVERS.

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5 Life Changing Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

Essential Communication Tips

Be honest

This one seems obvious, but hear me out — Honesty is the FOUNDATION of healthy communication. If you want your partner to hear you, you have to be willing to speak up. Honesty isn’t as simple as just not lying. It means actively choosing to tell the truth in your relationship.

If something is bothering you, bring it up. If your significant other hurt your feelings, crossed a line, or stepped on your toes, have a conversation. They probably didn’t know, and the longer you keep it in, the bigger of an issue it will become.

I’m a processor, so some times I’ll take a couple of days to sit with something before bringing it up, but whatever you do, don’t put it off.

One of the things I struggle with is bringing up difficult conversations that I know have the potential to hurt the feelings of someone I love. It’s not a fun thing to do. But every time I get the courage, I’m so glad I did it.

Healthy communication in relationships requires courage, bravery, and stepping out of your comfort zone. You have to be vulnerable to get something real.

Repeat back to each other what you’re hearing them say

Have you ever had one of those fights where halfway through the conversation you start to realize that they’re not saying what you thought they were saying? It’s a waste of time, energy — and it forces you to admit you were wrong (which is NEVER fun). Avoid this simple misunderstanding by implementing one easy practice:

Repeat back to each other what you’re hearing them say.

When your partner tells you something, take a second to breathe it in, and then say “Okay. Can I tell you what I’m hearing to make sure that I understand correctly?” and tell them exactly what you’re hearing.

Particularly if what they’re communicating to you is upsetting, it’s very worth taking the time to understand

One of the MOST IMPORTANT parts of being able to improve your communication in your relationships is being able to listen, not just talk. You have to hear your partner and work to understand what they’re saying, no matter how you feel about it.

Take a step back from the situation

If what you’re working through is particularly heavy, take a break. Whether it’s a 5 minute reset, walk, or a 24-48 hour period where you both take some space for clarity, don’t be afraid to get some perspective.

I am NOT an advocate for “taking a break” from your relationship or commitment — this is usually just a cop out and always ends with at least one person hurt. If you want out, get out. But a temporary break in your conversation can help you cool off, see things from another angle, and remember what your priorities are.

Don’t feel pressure to resolve heavy issues immediately. It’s okay to think and breathe a little. If you’re married, this might be more difficult, but still find a way to set boundaries and work to take care of your own mental health as you fight for your relationship.

Write out your thoughts

Shockingly, I am a Words of Affirmation girl (who would’ve guessed?! — but I honestly think this is such a good tip for anyone trying to communicate better in relationships.

If you’re getting ready to bring something up, get real, or share a response with someone you love, spend some time writing out exactly what you want to say. This keeps you from shooting off at the mouth in the moment, and it’s SO EASY to say something you don’t mean and can’t take back.

This also communicates a level of severity to a conversation and respect for the person you’re talking to. You care about their heart and feelings enough to really put some thought into what you’re saying, and that goes a long way.

You can make bullet points too, so you don’t leave anything out, but if you’re up for it, I’d come prepared with a letter.

Practice communication regularly

Practice communicating with your partner. Don’t just save these tips for big fights or breakup-worthy moments — use them in everyday conversations. Particularly when it comes to listening, making the effort to actively hear what someone else is telling you will be a huge shift for you as a couple. I get it, life is busy, and sometimes you’ll get distracted, but showing up to be present in the everyday is foundational to healthy communication and a happy relationship.

I’ve talked about this before, but my boyfriend and I actually have a specific rhythm built into our relationship to practice communicating once a month — I’ll explain it all here.

Relationships are made or broken by a couple’s ability to communicate. Talking through the past, present, and future are all important components of your life together. Share these tips with your SO + have a conversation about how you can grow together in this area! Make sure to let us know what you think in the comments below or over on our Instagram.